Emotions; How to keep them in Check.
Pastor JR
What are Emotions?
They are the feelings on the inside of you which are caused by pain or pleasure, that will try to move you in a certain direction.
If you have negative feelings they will try to move you away from God’s purpose for your life. If the feeling of fear controls you, when God tells you to do something you will become passive and do nothing.
• Let the will of God and His Word Control your Emotions:
My goal is to teach you to not let your emotions move you from the will of God for your life, but to let the will of God and His Word control your emotions.
• Negative Emotions & the Garden of Gethsemane:
It is not a sin to have negative emotions, but it is what the negative emotions can lead us to do, which often times is sin. Jesus had negative emotions of depression and deep anxiety in the garden of Gethsemane. If He had allowed His emotions to dictate His actions, He would have never gone to the cross, and Jesus would have been sinning. But he did not let those emotions keep Him from doing the will of God.
• Questions about Emotions:
What does the bible say about emotions? Are emotions something that is negative or positive? Does God want me to be happy? How can I Control my emotions? What connection is there between feelings and fear?
God wants to use your emotions to move you towards him. The emotion He uses is love, joy and peace.
• Taught to Not be Controlled by Our Feelings:
We are taught to not be controlled by our feeling, but when I pray I still feel depressed.
I go to church but when I get home I still feel rejected.
I know God is for me, but I’m afraid I’m going to lose it all.
What do I do? KEEP READING!
• Understanding Why God Gave Us Emotions:
When we understand why God gave us emotions then we can use them properly. If I can learn how to handle my emotions, I can also deal with life and what comes my way.
One thing for sure, we all have emotions, but unfortunately there is time when our emotions have us. When emotions have us – is when they become a problem.
How many believe what the bible say is true?
Well here’s the problem, because you do not always feel that what it says is true, you do not really believe what the truth is saying.
Here’s an example:
Have you ever left the house, locked the door, got in your car and started to wonder “did I lock that door.” Or drive away from the house and have to go back because you are wondering if I closed the garage door?
What is the problem? You are forgetful, or absentminded?
No, here’s the problem; you know you have locked the door or let the garage down, you know this is a fact, but because you do not feel that you locked it, you must go back and check.
You see, your emotional belief system can fluctuate based on what you are feeding it and accepting as truth, and this is where the problem begins.
Let’s dive right into some of our emotions:
• Fear:
Fear is a spirit; 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) 7For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
• Fear’s Job:
Fear’s job is to try and produce negative feelings in you, and by these feelings, it will try to move you to do and believe things that are not logical or against the truth.
The world operates from this prospective; “do not believe something is true unless you feel or see it. But, this goes directly against faith.
• Example of Fear:
Fear of flying, fear of heights, fear of confined spaces, fear of rejection, fear of disease, fear of speaking in public, fear of ministering or singing, when you know you have been gifted to do so.
Although some of your fears might have some truth to them, they are often much, much bigger than what is logical.
Take fear of flying for example; It is a fact that planes crash from time to time but, the fact is that you are more likely to be killed in a car accident going to the airport than you are to be in a plane crash.
But because you feel it is so, the truth gets pushed aside, and we believe our emotions. The feelings that we have are more real to us than what is true.
• Here are some Fears that many Christians have:
God is not pleased with me and is mad because I sinned.
The feeling of Condemnation is a form of fear; it is a fear of rejection. This fear is used by the enemy all of the time.
As a Christian, you have heard the truth about God and His goodness. He is love and full of grace and mercy. But, because your feelings believe something different, you have trouble believing it.
So when we sin, we feel that God is not happy with us anymore - that He will reject us and dislikes us. This is what we feel, but it is not true.
• The Need to Suffer for Sinning:
We also feel that we must suffer for a while when we have sinned - that we need to feel condemnation and shame for what we have done, at least for a week or so. When we do this, God realizes how sorry we are.
This rationale is not the truth of God’s word.
• Look at God’s Motivation for Righteous Living:
John 8:1 - 11 (NKJV) 1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. 3Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. 5Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” 6This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear. 7So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” 11She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”
Did Jesus use condemnation as a motivator to not sin, No. Jesus used forgiveness and love, not blame and shame.
• The Reason We Feel Condemnation:
We often feel condemnation or shame from our experiences. Maybe you had a mother or father who made you feel guilty, or, they tried to use shame as a motivator when you did something wrong. But this is not God’s tactic;
Romans 2:4 (NLT) 4Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?
1 John 1:9 (NLT) 9But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
John 3:17 - 18 (NKJV) 17For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
• Satan’s deception about God’s character:
The Devil wants you to have an image of God who comes to punish you. For if you believe and feel that God is mad at you, you will withdraw from God - the same way you withdraw from your spouse when you feel he/she is mad at you.
A perfect example is Deut. 1-26-27.
Deuteronomy 1:26 - 27 (NLT) 26“But you rebelled against the command of the LORD your God and refused to go in. 27You complained in your tents and said, ‘The LORD must hate us. That’s why he has brought us here from Egypt—to hand us over to the Amorites to be slaughtered.
God did not lead them to be slaughtered, He had performed great miracles to free the Israelites, put because they begin to complain and form a negative view of their situation and God, their emotions convinced them to rebel against God.
• Why We think God Dislike Us:
Some think that God hates me because I had a baby out of wedlock, or because I had an abortion, or because I looked at porn on the internet.
Or, how about; he is not happy with me because I haven’t read my bible or prayed very much this week. Or, He’s mad at me because I didn’t give my tithes. Or, I didn’t tell my unsaved friends about Jesus when I had the opportunity.
• What to do with these thoughts:
It is very important to do something with these thoughts! Tear them down. For as long as you do not see and have a revelation of God’s love, you will easily rebel against God. Or, you are afraid to go to him in confidence that he will help you.
1 John 3:21 - 22 (NLT) 21Dear friends, if we don’t feel guilty, we can come to God with bold confidence. 22And we will receive from him whatever we ask because we obey him and do the things that please him.
1 John 4:18 (NLT) 18Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.
• What is the Foundation For our Confidence:
For our confidence to believe and feel that God has forgiven me, we must believe His love. You must start to think; I am forgiven, because Jesus loves me.
So what is the first thing the devil will attack to make you feel condemned? He will try to make you feel and believe that God does not love you anymore and is against you, because of something you did or did not do.
The only cure against the feeling of: God hates you or is mad at you, is to know that God loves you in spite of what you have done or will do, and that you are righteous (put in right position). Not because of you and your good or bad deeds, but because of what Jesus has done for you.
Jesus did it for us, he took our mistakes and nailed them to the cross. Therefore we are justified! Even though we are not worthy of this love, Jesus said you are, and that’s enough.
• Where do Emotions Start:
Emotions start with our thoughts, and when we think one thing we will begin to feel it, and our emotions confirm what we think (cheerleaders for your feelings), so we act on what we perceive as truth.
Words produce thoughts
Thoughts produce emotions
Emotions produce decisions
Decisions produce an action
Actions produce habits
Habits produce a character
A character produces your destiny.
• God Created us with Feelings:
We are created by God to master life, not that life should control us. In Genesis God gave Adam and Eve the right to rule over the earth and their life. We are created in God’s image. We are meant to be a reflection of him, a reflection of his power, His love and His authority.
God gave Adam and Eve emotions so they could show them to each other and to God, but sin came and something happened. They were disobedient to God because of an emotional response to something that appealed to them. It was attractive, so good, and emotionally it led them to disobey God.
If your feelings are not moving you towards God, they will move you away from Him.
• God’s Will for you is Good:
3 John 1:2 (NKJV) 2Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.
Where your mind goes, there goes your life. Your emotions are in your soul. So if your soul is not well, your life will not be. So it is important that we know what’s going on in the soul man, or what’s driving your emotions.
• The Devil’s Tactic:
The devil’s tactic is to place thoughts of inadequacy in your mind, and wants you to believe that this is the way you are and you can’t change it.
Can you see how emotions can have their own belief system?
Satan is a liar! Jesus died so He could send the Holy Spirit to live inside of us, which gives us all the power we need -- this is a fact!
For some of us, our emotions tell us this is not true.
• Suffering for Christ:
Let’s clear up the misconception about “Suffering for Christ.” This does not mean you are to walk around gloomy or sad. It simply means that you will have to control your desires and emotions, and keep them within God’s will.
God wants us to have the feeling of Joy, peace, hope and love; He created us to have these emotions. But they will not come unless we believe and train our emotions to accept this truth.
When we sin, God is not waiting to inflict some type of punishment.
Sin brings about a harvest of destruction. Most of the time when negative things happen to us, we are just reaping the harvest that we have sown.
God can never support you in your rebellion. It would be to support the Devil.
Sin brings about consequences, and one of the greatest fruit of sin is fear, but it is not God’s punishment! Jesus took the punishment for your sin and nailed it on the cross.
• Training our Emotions:
Training our emotions comes through an act of our will.
Even though God’s word says we have joy and peace. When we experience trouble we must choose to do right-thinking.
Let’s look at an example of Training our Emotions:
Your husband is going through “Johney-pause (menopause for men)” and everything you thought you knew about him has changed. You begin to focus on him not wanting to shave, or he is now taking a shower once a week. The garage is overflowing, the house needs painting, and the carpets need shampooing. And he never helps you around the house. Your intimate time has gone south, as a matter of fact so has his belly!
Remember earlier I stated, “Thoughts produce emotions.”
Your emotions start to become negative and your emotions produce decisions; “I desire someone who appreciates me. I’m going to start doing things for myself.”
You start to feel like the two of you are growing apart, when reality is, you are training your emotions to dislike your husband, whereas the small improvements that your husband will make, will go unnoticed.
These emotions left unchecked will lead to separation or divorce in most cases.
• Positive Emotions:
If your thoughts are: I love the man God gave me. He has a good heart. I will always love the man I married. I love my man’s walk, I love the way he takes care of our home, I love the way he takes care of me.
He’s going through something right now, but he’s my man and we are life partners.
These thoughts will produce positive emotions and positive emotions produce positive decisions.
If you train your emotions to be positive, God’s joy, peace, comfort and love will guard your heart and mind, through the Holy Spirit that lives in you.
Philippians 4:7 (NKJV) 7and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
• Holiness and Feelings:
Many believe that holiness is also a feeling: If you’ve managed to read the Bible every day, fast and pray often, and do not do any major sins, then I feel more holy.
What is it that makes you Holy? Is it your good works or feelings? Is it how many times you have read the Bible?
The truth is, you were made holy, even if you do not feel so. You got your holiness not because of your good deeds, and you also are not maintaining it by your good works, but only because of God’s grace. So you do not lose your holiness or righteousness when you sin. You get your righteousness by faith in God, not by your works. Faith is not a feeling -- but a choice.
Romans 5:20:
[20] God's law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God's wonderful grace became more abundant.
• The Feeling of Powerlessness:
Have you ever felt like this situation will never change, or that I will never conquer this problem? Or, that I have a weakness that I can’t seem to overcome.
These are feelings of powerlessness and despair, which stems from the spirit of fear. These feelings are actually the root of your negative emotions and fears. The fear that you will never succeed, and the feeling of failure has its root in that you feel it is hopeless to try. You’ve tried so many times that you feel totally powerless.
Let’s find a scripture that combats this negative emotion;
Ephesians 3:16 - 20 (NKJV) 16that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,
We have a great God, and He can do more than what we ask or think.
Try this; every morning and throughout the day, read this scripture, and if possible read it out loud. The negative feeling of powerlessness will begin to disappear, and the peace, love and joy of God will begin to anchor your soul.
Then confess that nothing is impossible for God! I know that God has a good plan for me, and that plan is far beyond what I can dream about and hope for! God is a good God, and I know that His promises will happen. For God cannot lie.
• The Pitfalls of Letting Your Emotions Rule:
As Christians we attend church, go to meetings and workshops, and make a lot of emotional decisions, which can be good. But when you meet everyday life, you don’t keep what you have promised. You can easily follow what you feel in the moment, and allow your emotions to keep you from following what you have promised to God and others. If you are an emotionally dominated person, you can easily be lead away from God’s intentions, purpose and destiny for your life.
Emotions can be the cause of sin in our lives. If you have fallen into adultery, it was because your feelings led you there. If sin had felt bad when we did it we would not have done it, but because it feels good we do it. In other words, we let our emotions dominate and control us.
• Emotions and Health:
Emotions have a lot to do with our health. Our negative emotions, which often come from fear, may release chemicals that make us depressed, and when we have a chemical imbalance in our body, it can make our immune system weak.
The scriptures put it like this;
Proverbs 17:22 (NKJV) 22 A merry heart £does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.
Proverbs 14:30 (NKJV) 30 A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones.
Fact: Our immune system is made in our bones, the red blood cells are made inside the bone calcification, and they are an important part of our immune system.
• How to Control our Emotions:
If you can control your thoughts and self-talk, you will be able to control your emotions!
2 Corinthians 10:4 - 5 (NKJV) 4For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
Romans 12:2 (NKJV) 2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
The word “Mind” from the Greek word Phroneo means “to think”. So the renewing of the mind is the adjustment of the person’s thinking and outlook on life so that these conform to the mind of God.
So we can conclude that:
Negative thoughts, self-defeating thoughts, and anxiety creating statements become as automatic and unconscious as driving a car. The more you drive the less you think about operating the car. Well the more you complain the less you think about God’s goodness and the great things He has done for you.
Thoughts, positive or negative, grow stronger with repetition. That may explain why so many who are gloomy and gray stay in that mood, and why others who are cheery and enthusiastic continue to be so, even during difficult circumstances.
Happiness is a matter of right thinking, not intelligence, age, or position. Our performance is directly related to the thoughts we deposit in our memory bank. We can only draw on what we deposit.
Proverbs 16:32 (NKJV) 32 He who is slow to anger (controlled emotions) is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit (controlled emotions) than he who takes a city.
If you control your emotions, you are more powerful than an army that takes a city. But the opposite happens for a person that is controlled by his emotions. He is like a city that is consumed by an army.
• Emotions and Circumstances:
Many people are depressed and frustrated, and they are waiting all the time for their circumstances to change before they can be happy.
They think; “if I could only find a good man, a better job, a better place to live, buy a new car, win the lottery, then I would be happy.”
Many blame their circumstances and say that these things are the reason for their unhappiness. The truth is -- if you think these things, you will never have joy (happiness regardless of the circumstances).
God wants you to change the way you think about your circumstances. Your emotions will come in line when you have right-thinking, and practice right behavior.
This also applies to what we say about others, if your thoughts are negative about your job. Don’t expect your career to be successful. The more you reinforce the negative emotion, the more depressed and frustrated you will become.
The opposite is also true, the more positive that you speak about your job, the emotions will settle in and create a sense of joy.
You can apply this principle to every area of your life. Pay close attention to your speech, if it is negative, replace it with something that you can give God praise for.
Come on, it’s not hard, if you are reading this that means you are breathing, and God has blessed you with a new opportunity to let your light shine. Don’t cover it up with your negative attitude!
Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV) 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV) 7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
• Taking back Control of Your Emotions:
You cannot expect God to help you with controlling your emotions when you are feeding them with negative influences all day long;
Reality shows where emotions stay unchecked.
Music with destructive, and immoral lyrics.
Internet sites with provocative content.
Social media that places its value on how many likes you receive.
Books with story lines of how the man cheated on his wife for 15 years and she never had a clue.
WHAT YOU SEE AND HEAR WILL HAVE AN AFFECT ON YOUR EMOTIONS.
Let me make this clear, I am not saying that you cannot watch these types of shows, however, a steady diet of them will affect your emotions. Let the Holy Spirit lead you into what is good and right for your soul. Understanding what is right for one person, might not be right for you!
God does not want us to go around with our emotions in an uproar. He wants us to experience His joy and peace. Paul put it this way;
Philippians 4:6 - 8 (NLT) 6Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Let’s clear up one misconception; you cannot stop the negative thoughts by saying; “I will not think about it, I will not think about it.” You must remove the negative thoughts with positive thinking (Phil. 4:8).
When negative thoughts come, practice redirecting your mind to something positive.
God wants you to feel his joy and peace, but this will not happen if you want to do things your way, say whatever come to your mind, do what you want to do no matter how it affects others, say what you want when you feel it, and follow your out of controlled emotions.
So, when fear and depression come knocking at your door, don’t be surprised or blame God; For God has given you the formula to control your emotions and you have chosen another direction.
God knows you better than you know yourself. He made you, and he has given you the formula for a successful Christian life in the Word of God.
Learn the art of redirecting your thoughts through positive thinking. Pay close attention to what you say, your words will let you know what is happening with your thought life (Out of the heart your mouth speaks; Matthew 12:34).
Take a Stand and Practice Training Your Emotions through the following steps;
1) Right thinking.
2) Positive self-talk.
3) Paying close attention to what you say.
4) Practice seeing the good in others, and not always looking for the negative.
5) Use edifying words to the people that God places in your path.
6) Keep your commitments that you have made to God and to others.
7) Don’t let negative emotions dictate your actions
8) Study God’s Word. Read this outline often, and keep your conscience clear. This will allow you to go to God freely, expressing your concerns and walking away with His JOY AND PEACE, knowing that God has your back.
More Scriptures:
Psalms 103:8 (NKJV) 8 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
Colossians 3:8 (NKJV) 8But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.
Romans 8:9 - 11 (NKJV) 9But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. 10And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
Luke 6:45 (NKJV) 45A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil £treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
If your feeling are not moving you towards God, they will move you away from Him.
John 16:33 (NLT) 33I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
Romans 8:1 (NKJV) 1There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
Enjoy your new life, A life full of Joy and Peace. If God be for you, who can be against you.